


Identical

by SRassier



Series: Five and Dolores sitting in a tree... [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: And is kind of smug, Identical Twins, Number Five loves Dolores, The Hargreeves love a mystery!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:07:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: Five seems to be the only one who can tell Dolores and her sister apart. The Hargreeves clan will not rest until they find out how he does it.
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Series: Five and Dolores sitting in a tree... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610194
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	Identical

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to Dolores' Story. Plot-wise, you don't need to read that to get this (it's just "day in the life" fluff). Character-wise, it would help. If you really don't want to read that one (please do, I super proud of it!) then I'll catch you up with all you need to know:
> 
> Dolores is one of the kids born on Oct 1, 1989. She has an identical twin sister and they all live like one big happy, disfunctional family. Everyone (including Dolores and her sister) are physically 30, and Five is about 19. (See...if you would read my first story this would make more sense!)
> 
> Fic is not rated because although there isn't anything naughty (just implied), I really do swear like a sailor so it spills over into my stories.

Delores and Melissa sat at the kitchen table making plans for shopping later in the day when Five walked in looking groggy and still half asleep. He shuffled over to the pair, leaned down and gave Delores a kiss on the lips and headed toward the coffee maker. As he fussed with the filter and grounds Melissa piped up. “How do you do that?”  
Five didn’t take his eyes off the machine as he deadpanned, “Kiss my girlfriend good morning? It’s pretty easy, I’ve had a lot of practice.”  
“No. How do you tell us apart?”  
Five pushed the button to start the coffee and turned toward the women. “It’s not like you’re exactly identical.”  
Delores’ eyes widened. “We are exactly identical.”  
“No you’re not.” He reached up to the cupboard and pulled down a mug, holding it in both hands, anxiously awaiting the beverage to be done.  
Just as she was about to continue arguing, Luther walked into the room looking like he hadn’t slept. “Do I smell coffee?”  
Five handed him the mug and reached for another. “I’m working on it.”

“Luther.” Delores snapped and he whipped his head to face her, startled. “Which one of us is Delores and which one is Melissa?”  
Luther looked back and forth to the two women and then back to Five, his eyes pleading with his brother to tell him what the hell he walked into. When Five just shrugged and turned his attention back to the coffee maker, Luther sighed. “Um. You’re Melissa?”  
Delores shot a smug look at Five still addressing Luther. “Wrong. And do you know why you got it wrong?”  
“Uh…because you’re identical?”  
“Because we’re identical!”   
Five grabbed the now full pot and poured some into his mug, smirking to himself before addressing the room. “Not to me.” He put the pot back and walked away ignoring the looks of confusion he left in his wake.

It wasn’t even an hour later that Delores and Melissa stormed into the library. Five was calmly sitting in a large chair, reading, not bothering to look up when the women entered the room.   
“Which one’s which now, smart ass?”  
Five looked up from his book to see the two women dressed identically. Both wearing jeans and plain black tee shirts, they even managed to get matching shoes for the event. He sighed and pointed to each of them in turn, “Melissa, Delores.”   
He lowered his head back to his book and Delores gave out an exasperated sigh, “Damnit!”

“Maybe it’s the way you talk?” Diego piped into the brainstorming session. At this point the whole family was in on it. “You know, you and Melissa didn’t exactly grow up in the same circumstances. I’m guessing the apocalypse made you…um…”  
“Filter less?” Klaus offered, causing Diego to point at him and nod.  
Delores pondered it for a moment and nodded in agreement. “Ok, plan C.”

Five was running laps in the training room when they found him. Delores, Melissa, and Allison walked into the room, and as he rounded the corner and saw them, he slowed to a stop. Allison stood between the sisters and acted as their voice. “Which one’s which?”  
Five leaned over to a bench and picked up a towel. He wiped the sweat off his face and once again pointed at the two women one by one, “Delores, Melissa.”  
“Shit!” Delores huffed and stormed out of the training room, Melissa and Allison following close behind.

The rest of the day, the entire family worked painstakingly to figure out how he was doing it. Vanya spent several minutes studying the twin’s faces before finally turning to the group, “Nothing. Their hair is the same length, their eyes the same color, hell…I even think their freckles are exactly the same.”  
“Maybe it’s a whole-body thing.” Klaus muttered from his position of his head buried in his arms folded on the table. He suddenly perked up. “Pictures!” Delores looked at her sister and shrugged, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to try. Klaus grabbed his Polaroid and snapped a bunch of shots of each of the women. He grabbed two and when Delores started to protest at his choices, he just waved a hand dismissing her. “This is the way it’s got to be. He needs to be taught a lesson.” And he ran off to find his brother, the rest of the household not far behind him.

Five was in the kitchen making another pot of coffee and steeling a peek into the oven to check on the lasagna that Klaus had put in earlier. Suddenly, everyone came barreling into the room, lead by Klaus. “We’ve got you now!” Five rolled his eyes. “No voices to hear, no body language to watch, just pure, identical twin goodness.” He slapped the pictures in front of Five on the table and stepped back, gesturing at them as if he was taunting Five to try.  
Five let out an exasperated sigh before looking down at the photos. He nearly rolled his eyes all the way back before looking at Klaus. “They’re both Delores. Nice try, though.”  
Klaus looked at the group, throwing his hands up. “He’s a witch.”  
“Seriously people, if I tell you how I can tell them apart will you all just leave me alone?”  
He was met with a chorus of ‘yeses’, ‘finallys’, and one very pointed ‘it’s about damn time.’

He waited for everyone to get settled as if he was going to share with all of them the secret of life or something. “The difference that I see that you all don’t is…” He looked Delores in the eyes as he pointed at Melissa. “I’m not in love with that one.” She shifted in her seat as he continued. “This one,” He motioned to her while keeping her gaze, “Makes me smile just by her entering a room. She sends sparks of electricity through to my soul when she brushes us against me in the hall. From the moment I wake up in the morning to the minute I fall asleep, all I can think about is her.” Delores smiled as Five stared into her eyes. “Holding her, kissing her…making love to her.” She blushed as he finally turned away from her to address Melissa. “I simply don’t feel that way when I look at you, sorry.”  
The room was deathly quiet except for a faint “aw,” falling from Allison’s lips. Delores stood up and walked over to him. She grabbed his hand and started to lead him out of the room. Klaus shouted after them, “Where are you going? Dinner’s almost ready!”  
Delores called back over her shoulder, “We’re skipping to dessert!” Leaving the stunned faces of their siblings behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five absentmindedly ran his hand up and down Delores’ bare back as she cuddled next to him. He thought about the entire day and how much fun he had messing with his family but also felt a tinge of guilt. He looked down at her as she lazily drew circles on his chest and decided that if they didn’t have trust, they didn’t have anything. “I bit your earlobe.”  
Delores’ hand stopped and she craned her neck to look up at him. “Babe, I learned a while ago that you’re a biter. It doesn’t bother me…you don’t have to tell me every time you do it.” She went back to her drawing. “Besides, if you keep doing the other stuff you do while you bite me…I’ll never notice anyway.”  
Five sighed. “No. I mean…I bit your earlobe the second time we ever had sex.” He fixed his eyes on her to wait for a reaction as he continued. “I bit a little too hard and broke the skin…leaving a tiny puncture mark.” Delores stopped drawing once again. “Melissa doesn’t have that.”  
She slowly rose up on her elbow to look at him as realization crept over her face. “You ass-hole.”  
“Now come on…”  
“No.” She sat up and slid herself off the end of the bed and rushed over to the mirror on the back of the door. Sure enough, there was a very tiny puncture scar on her ear where the lobe meets the cartilage. She turned to face him, not bothered by the fact that she was still very naked. “All that crap about smiling when I enter a room and electricity straight to your soul…what a crock of shit!”   
“Hey!” Five ducked his head to miss the flying shoe that was thrown across the room. “I meant all that!” He winced at the sight of her holding the other shoe over her head. “I just ALSO look at your ear… you know, trust but verify.” He smirked and gave her his best ‘lovable scoundrel’ look. She slowly dropped the shoe and climbed back on the end of the bed. As she crawled excruciatingly slowly toward him on the pillow, she nearly growled as she told him all the ways he was going to be punished for lying to her. 

And Five was fine with that.


End file.
